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Super Mega Monkey Ultra Extreme III Alright!!!!
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We know of an ancient radiation While Frank Sinatra sings "Stormy Weather" Beyond the suns that guard this roof An old man sits collecting stamps We know of an ancient radiation While Frank Sinatra sings "Stormy Weather" Science Literacy Quiz I suck. I made at least 4 stupid mistakes and only got 80%. :( Christian Science Monitor Science Quiz Our Traitorous Bodies are Conspiring to Keep Us Fat I was directed to this article (i warn you - it's super long) during a discussion about metabolism and obesity. If you've ever lost weight but had trouble keeping it off, or exercised but didn't see the results you expected, this might shed some light on things. A physician in Australia conducted a study where participants were obese men and women. They were placed on extremely low calorie diets until they lost around 30lbs and then worked to maintain the new weight. A full year after significant weight loss, these men and women remained in what could be described as a biologically altered state. Their still-plump bodies were acting as if they were starving and were working overtime to regain the pounds they lost. For instance, a gastric hormone called ghrelin, often dubbed the "hunger hormone," was about 20 percent higher than at the start of the study. Another hormone associated with suppressing hunger, peptide YY, was also abnormally low. Levels of leptin, a hormone that suppresses hunger and increases metabolism, also remained lower than expected. A cocktail of other hormones associated with hunger and metabolism all remained significantly changed compared to pre-dieting levels. It was almost as if weight loss had put their bodies into a unique metabolic state, a sort of post-dieting syndrome that set them apart from people who hadn't tried to lose weight in the first place. Motherfucker! In a study done at Columbia University, Muscle biopsies taken before, during and after weight loss show that once a person drops weight, their muscle fibers undergo a transformation, making them more like highly efficient "slow twitch" muscle fibers. A result is that after losing weight, your muscles burn 20 to 25 percent fewer calories during everyday activity and moderate aerobic exercise than those of a person who is naturally at the same weight. Which is to say your body is an asshole that's actively working against you. Things brings us to "decision fatigue", which comes with another super long article and deserves a post of its own (which i will get to). However, i will tell you about the part of the article that talks about decision fatigue and its impact on dieters - the brain converts glucose to energy. The energy fuels our willpower. Willpower enables us to resist temptation. When you're on a diet, you restrict your caloric intake and consequently, your glucose intake, effectively reducing your willpower. The discoveries about glucose help explain why dieting is a uniquely difficult test of self-control -- and why even people with phenomenally strong willpower in the rest of their lives can have such a hard time losing weight. They start out the day with virtuous intentions, resisting croissants at breakfast and dessert at lunch, but each act of resistance further lowers their willpower. As their willpower weakens late in the day, they need to replenish it. But to resupply that energy, they need to give the body glucose. They're trapped in a nutritional catch-22: This reminds me of when i used to do 3-day fasts. Day 1 was easy peasy. Day 2 was unbearable. I never made it to Day 3. So, i thought, your body has to eventually go back to working normally, right? It's just in starvation mode now because it's been so used to getting more food for so long, but it'll adapt to the new status quo in a year or two. Shows what i know. How long this state lasts isn't known, but preliminary research at Columbia suggests that for as many as six years after weight loss, the body continues to defend the old, higher weight by burning off far fewer calories than would be expected. The problem could persist indefinitely. Well...hrm....i guess, if, uh, there's an apocalypse and food becomes scarce.....people with slower metabolisms will be better off...yeah... Muggle Quidditch? Cereally? If you harbored a mental picture of Oxford students being all prim and proper, harbor it no more. To onlookers it may have seemed outlandish and bizarre, but to these mostly teenage Oxford students it was the realisation of a dream. For Quidditch, the game they grew up reading about in the pages of Harry Potter books, is no longer a fictional activity played by witches and wizards in the air. It is a fast-paced and disconcertingly rough team sport that is played firmly on the ground and results in very real cuts and bruises. One student is quoted as saying he hopes to make people "see Quidditch as a sport in its own right". Yes, i'm sure many share your hopes and aspirations that a game involving young adults running around grasping a stick between their legs will one day be taken seriously. You know what would have been kewl? If they loved the game in the books so much that they developed some sort of device that actually levitated and flew like the broomsticks in the Harry Potter books. With science and genius and all that. That i could have gotten behind. Instead we get this.  This just makes me sad (and yes, those are capes). Damn you, J.K. Rowling! I swear this is not edited in any way, and there's nothing else in the movie that puts it in context He just makes that noise when he sees the dinosaurs. No explanation. From the made-for-SciFi movie, Raptor Island (2004). I've Always Advocated Lying to Your Parents For two reasons. and 2) What they don't know, they can't use against you at some future date. It doesn't matter how innocuous you think it is, it will most certainly be used against you in some way at some point. It will come when you least expect it, and it will be in a form you could never have foreseen. Trust me. So, as i've always advised my younger sister, LIE. Next week's lunar new year is China's biggest festival. It can also be a major headache for those returning home without a potential spouse. Pressure on young adults to settle down goes into overdrive, as gathering family members begin the inquisition and line up possible candidates. There's always the chance you might be getting involved with someone untrustworthy who will turn into a stalker or a burglar or something. But when faced with the alternative - a weekend spent being made to feel guilty for upsetting your parents as well as having all your shortcomings discussed by the entire family loudly and repeatedly - i can see why they would take the chance and shell out the cash. And, hey, is it such a strange idea? I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who asked a friend to pretend to be their SO at a wedding or reunion their ex was also attending. It's a fairly common movie theme. There's The Wedding Date, a movie about a woman who hires a male escort to play he boyfriend at her sister's wedding. And let's not forget the lengths the characters in The Wedding Banquet go to keep the main character's parents from discovering he's gay. As we all know, if it's in a movie or on tv, it must be true. Why we mainly play in our guitarist's basement nowadays This is why i don't really try to gig anymore: As I've been looking for gigs lately, I've never seen so many free and low paying gigs. Well the economy is bad, so I can understand that a little bit. However, it is no longer good enough for the musician to be willing to perform for little compensation. Now we are expected to also be the venue's promoter. The expectations are that the band will not only provide great music, but also bring lots of people to their venue. It is now the band's responsibility to make this happen, not the club owner. I don't care about the money. And i don't have any pretenses that our band is so great that club owners should be banging down our door trying to get us to play there. But the "pay to play" (or "make your friends pay to play") model seems to be the only game in town, so i don't really understand how any band gets beyond that stage, or how any clubs build up a sustainable customer base. Every gig i've been to, the audience consists entirely of the people that each band dragged to it. Eddie Mechanic who has slaved all week fixing cars at the local dealership also plays guitar. Not very well, but he's been practicing once a week with Doctor Drummer, Banker Bass Player, and Salesman Singer. Usually they just drink beer between rehearsing a few tunes in Eddie's garage, but this week they answer a craigslist ad and line up a big gig. Well they don't sound that good, but they sure all work with a lot of people everyday. All these people can be given a flyer on Monday and after being asked "are you coming to my gig?" everyday all week, will most likely show up on Saturday night. So mission accomplished, the club owner has packed his venue for one night. It happened after I played a great night of music in LA. We were playing for a % of the bar. There were about 50 people there in this small venue, so it was a good turnout. At the end of the night, I go to get paid, and hope to book another gig. The club owner was angry. "Where are your people?" he asked. "All these people, I brought in. We had a speed dating event and they are all left over from that." I pointed out they all stayed and listened to the music for 2 hours after their event ended. That was 2 more hours of bar sales, because without us, you have an empty room with nothing going on. He just couldn't get over the fact that we didn't walk in with our own entourage of fans. Wasn't happy that we kept a full room spending money. Right when we were talking, a group of people interrupted us and said "you guys sound great, when is the next time you're playing here again?" The club owner, said "they aren't, they didn't bring anyone." Sure, once or twice a year we can drum up enough friends and co-workers to be polite and come out and see us, but after a while i stopped seeing the point. Again, we're not professional musicians and we're probably not very good. But it seems to be a universal experience. I'm sure club owners have their own side to this story and there's no easy fix, however. I Just...I Mean.....Pockets! C'Mon! Thanks to fudge005 for bringing this article to my attention. There are a lot of annoying things about being a woman, like periods, childbirth and not being able to play basketball in a way that keeps spectators awake. But near the top of the list has got to be buying clothes. What the fuck is with the decorative pocket? Is that just to fake me out? You went to the trouble of designing it. Just add a little pouch so i have somewhere to put my stuff! I know the arguments -- "But women's clothes are so carefully cut and tailored. If you put anything in a pocket, it would bulge and look bad!" That's bullshit. If you're interested in finding out what the other 6 things are about women's clothing that baffles the author the most, read the rest here. She even throws in a nod to Liefeld (Liefeld!! Arrgghh!!! *shakes fist*) Group Work Stifles Genius We here at SuperMegaMonkey fully support The Introvert. See here if you have an introvert, and you're worried about how to properly care for them. That said, here's an article about why having to work in groups all the time sucks. (h/t wnkr, a fellow introvert) Research strongly suggests that people are more creative when they enjoy privacy and freedom from interruption. And the most spectacularly creative people in many fields are often introverted, according to studies by the psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Gregory Feist. They're extroverted enough to exchange and advance ideas, but see themselves as independent and individualistic. They're not joiners by nature. Remember having to do group projects in school and there was always that one slacker you ended up with who never did anything so the rest of you had to do more work since your grade was riding on it? Grr... I've rarely attended a meeting at work where actual things were decided on, where progress was made. They usually end up being 2 hours of saying the same 3 things over and over again because people aren't paying attention, or they are paying attention but they don't understand words unless they're coming out of their own mouths. And then we all get assigned some task that's part of the bigger project and told to go work on it for the next meeting. You know what? Could you have just emailed that task to me so i could save myself the trouble of wasting those 2 hours of my life that i will never get back? The author of this article also wrote a book titled "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking". I'm thinking of buying copies and just leaving them everywhere. I don't know why i'm thinking that. It just seems the thing to do. NYT Wonders If It's Objective and Fair to Call Out Lies **Update below** I read this and it made my brain bleed. I'm looking for reader input on whether and when New York Times news reporters should challenge "facts" that are asserted by newsmakers they write about. Who is Arthur Brisbane and why is he a moron? More importantly, why is a moron given a forum in which he can share his idiocy with the world? Why is he allowed to write for a paper when he doesn't even know what words mean? This is what Dictionary.com says about the definition of "fact." fact [fakt] A fact is something that's true, something based on reality. You can't be subjective about a fact. Something either is a fact or it's not. Have we really sunk so low that we can no longer distinguish between what is real and what is made up? That a NYT editor has to write a letter to the readers to ask if it's right to point out when something is untrue? What is wrong with his brain? I know what's wrong with my brain. Arthur Brisbane made it bleed. We're not talking about calling out things that might be an opinion the journalist disagrees with. That would be wrong and certainly subjective and should be reserved for op-eds. We're talking about pointing out someone claiming they never voted for Bill XYZ when they did or saying Obama is to blame for some tax or bill when it was voted on prior to his taking office. What the bloody hell, people? Where's my electric mace? I need to go talk to some people about the facts.
Both Abramson and Brisbane claim that ofc the NYT fact checks, der. But, i think this commenter gives a perfect example of how the NYT doesn't challege distortions of truth: The Times regularly quotes politicians saying that "Social Security is going broke," or words to that effect. Never, never to my knowledge, has the Times pointed out that Social Security cannot go broke because its outlays are funded by current contributions. Never have I read a Times reporter point out that it is the Social Security Trust Fund that is underfunded. Never, to my knowledge, has a Times reporter actually, you know, reported,that the shortfall is relatively small and that the Social Security Administration projects that the Trust Fund is solvent into the 2030's. Never has a Times reporter interviewed a left of center analyst who would point out that lifting the cap on annual FICA contributions would easily cure the shortfall. i think i'll stick with my original decision to bring my electric mace along to "fix" things. (it totally works for Hawkgirl in the Justice League cartoon. she's my hero.) It's hard to dismiss a chocobo  We were surprised to realize that we've been remembering the phrase wrong. We thought it was "Fight fight fight! And never give up!". Possibly conflating it with Ellis' end-phrase from Battle Arena Toshinden. Final Fantasy Tactics: Where Athiesm is a deadly weapon  Only because it was requested My finger. Not for the squeamish. We're all socialists now Considering what i do for a living, i can't complain that Romney had a job in the past that involved laying people off. But his primary opponents can. And Romney's defense is good for TPM: Presumably Team Romney's plan to combat attacks over Bain Capital has always been to paint anyone raising the issue as a loony left-wing extremist. Eventually the charge of "socialist" becomes so vague as to render it meaningless, or people start thinking, "Hey, it's socialist to put restrictions on mass layoffs? Maybe socialism isn't so bad.". SuperMegaSpeed Reviews I have mangled one of my fingers in a blender, so i apologize if there are (more) typos (than usual). Hulk #47 - Parker has done a great job making me like the Red Hulk, so we'll see if he can do the same for Red She-Hulk, but so far it hasn't happened. Betty comes off particularly unlikeable (one might say Harpy-ish) and the way she was written didn't leave a lot of room for character development. But it's only the start of this arc. Speaking of characters Parker has convinced me to like, i'm enjoying the Zero/One plot. I really liked the "Why has he come? I abandoned hostilities with him." line. I also like that Machine Man seems to have joined the cast of this book (still waiting for a reconciliation with the Warren Ellis personality). Avengers annual #1 - The previous installment of this came out in September(!), where it became clear that, whatever Bendis' intentions, Wonder Man had essentially no case, and nothing in this issue contradicts that, making the crazification of Wondy the only lasting effect of this story, especially since the rest of Wondy's group folded with no resolution to their complaints (and the characterization of Erik Josten seems terrible, but i'm probably missing Thunderbolts issues that make it ok). The idea that he's really only a construct of the Scarlet Witch or that his resurrection was somehow tainted feels like a knock on the Busiek story that i don't think was warranted. If i recall correctly, Wonder Man appeared along with a Legion of the Unliving, but Wanda detected that unlike the others he wasn't really dead and she was able to hex him back to full life. If she was just re-writing reality, she would have brought back Dr. Druid and the rest too. The whole complaint seems to be based on a fundamental misunderstanding of the Scarlet Witch's powers; something that it looked like the Children's Crusade might be addressing but with one issue left i'm not so sure. Anyway... rambling. The art was a bit disappointing as well. I remember liking the painted look of the previous annual, but this issue seemed... i don't want to say rushed about a book that they clearly took their time putting out. But you had that completely wasted two pages with a giant spread of Wonder Man and Iron Man facing off, and then, in the very next panel Iron Man is holding up the defeated Wonder Man-ball. When i start checking to make sure pages weren't stuck together, that's bad storytelling. Villains for Hire #2 - Yeah yeah yeah! Good stuff! And i don't just mean Paladin getting his ass kicked. Thunderbolts #168 - I feel like the cover is very specifically advertising Luke Cage as a selling point as if he were Spidey or Wolverine, which is interesting. Not a bad thing; i've always liked the character and i'm glad he has a higher profile nowadays, but it's amazing what an Avengers membership can do for you. As for this issue, i've never loved Mr. Fear/Nightmare/D'Spayre stories where scary montage scenes substitute for actual character development, and the Back To The Future II "homage" was a little silly (especially since it seems to answer the fun time travel philosophy questions that were raised in previous issues), but i still think this is my favorite book right now. Oh, and what the hell: what idiot thought they should kill off Montana? Do i have that and missed it or what? You can't really have an Enforcers without Montana, and you need to have an Enforcers. Well, i guess we're on like Ox IV, so i guess we'll just have to have a Montana II. Our guy Senator Robert Menendez of New Jersey is holding up President Obama's nomination of a judge to the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, the only time a Democrat has tried to block one of Mr. Obama's judicial nominees. He really needs to go. The continued saga of Graduation Woman-Man  The madness never ends. See also here and here. Yeti Crab Although, calling it "the Hoff crab" is also pretty awesome. UK scientists have found prodigious numbers of a new crab species on the Southern Ocean floor that they have dubbed "The Hoff" because of its hairy chest.
SuperMegaSpeed Reviews Annihilators: Earthfall #4 - This series was such a waste. I read it and all i can see is the potential for increasing the readership of Abnett & Lanning's space stories getting flushed down the toilet. Well, i see that, and i see this:  Eaaaaaagh!! How did this not end with a revelation that everyone in the series was attacked by Masque from the Morlocks? Captain America #5 - It's a good story, but i'm disturbed by the fact that half the book is drawn very nicely by Niven and the other half is this weird sketchy stuff by Camuncoli. But... it is a good story. And luckily... Captain America #6 - ...here's some more of it, and this time with great art by Alan Davis. I do like this alternate-dimension Hydra queen, and the fact that she and the Bravo guy (Do i have to call him Codename: Bravo? Is that his full name?) are pointing out actual real-world problems with the politics in the US and using that against Cap. Shades of Englehart; it's something that should be done more in this book. Similarly, it's nice to see the reference to interactions with this world's version of Hydra and the fact that "Queen" Hydra is successfully recruiting away goons on the basis of her more political message. Avengers: The Children's Crusade #8 - I really was going along with this book, but it's issue 8 of 9 and i don't know where it's going. I thought this was going to be a restoration of the Scarlet Witch and an undoing of House of M, but so far it's been a lot of the Young Avengers standing around on the sidelines while the X-Men and Avengers fight things and/or each other, so even if the series does accomplish those things in the final issue, it's going to feel somewhat out of nowhere. And if it's not going to do those things, i don't understand the point. It sure wasn't to spotlight the YA characters. Also, Doom referencing the time he stole the Beyonder's power was not a good move, because this issue's plot really was a re-hash of that, and despite the fact that Doom says that he's even more powerful now than that time, it's worth remembering that in that Secret Wars issue he annihilated the combined hero forces with a single action. No one had an opportunity to shrink down to ant size and buzz around in his ear or anything. He was actually omnipotent then, not just really big and talking a lot. Oh well. I had high hopes for this series. Oh and why is everyone, like, wet and covered in mud or something? Alpha Flight #7 - Readers, i didn't even notice that Heather had four toes. Ok? And i didn't breeze past the panel. I stared at it, asked myself, 'why are they showing me this panel? is she drawing a message in the sand with her foot?'. So take all my reviews with a grain of salt; i'm clearly not qualified to review anything. But i did enjoy this. Fun, funny, nice turnabouts, great to see the hero's scheme working out, "Squatch smash puny Canadians", and and decent-to-good art (i generally like it and think the storytelling is good, but something about the character poses and faces feels a little stiff, like maybe there's too much of a reliance on posed reference photos or something?). Comic Movie Reviews Min and i had a Bad Marvel Movie Marathon during our holiday feasting, and here's some quick thoughts on the movies. We watched them in order of anticipated watch-ability, so that as we got more tired the movies would get better to compensate, but that's not quite how it worked out. Ghost Rider - This was surprisingly watchable. Deliberately campy, but that's a good thing. Took a little too long to get started with the kid Johnny Blaze instead of Nicholas Cage, but any movie that Sam Elliott narrates can't be that bad. Ghost Rider looked awesome, in my opinion. I don't know why they resisted making Blackheart look just as true to the comics. Fun. I won't wait so long to watch the sequel. Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer - This was absolutely awful. After giving it maybe 20 minutes, we watched the rest in fast forward, hoping for a cool Surfer/Doom fight or something but no such luck. We knew that Galactus was just going to be a big cloud (why??) but i wasn't prepared for Dr. Doom to walk around maskless the entire movie. Still, this wasn't just untrue to the comics, which at this point i'm used to, but it was just a bad movie. The director obviously thought he could get a lot of mileage out of things like the Thing burping, Mr. Fantastic dancing, a camel leering at the Human Torch after a pratfall, etc. etc., but it just made the whole thing feel like the worst type of super-hero movie from the 80s and 90s. And the whole Reed/Sue relationship thing was done so poorly. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - I thought this one started off really well. Even the stuff from the Origins comic was done decently, and then the strike force team was introduced well and the break-up played out ok too. Deadpool (in the first half of the movie) was a standout character. Then it got a little campy with the Blob, and then when Wolverine goes to the island it got a little slow. It seemed like he just kept standing around trying to decide what to do while people kept revealing secrets to him. Not very Wolverine-y. Finally, the return of Deadpool and, ummm... that was stupid. Take the mouth away from the funniest guy in the movie? And turn Deadpool into Mimic... why? So overall, mixed feelings on this one. X-Men First Class is next on the queue, and min has never seen the 1990s Captain America movie... Vegan Gravy 1/3 cup oil Heat up an empty saucepan on medium heat and then add the oil. Slowly add the flour a small bit at a time and beat it with a wire whisk until it is fully absorbed, then add more. I am told this is called making a "roux". Then do the same thing with the broth: add a small bit at a time and whisk it, then add more. The broth will steam and burn your hands. Be a man and keep whisking. Only Frank Zappa makes good lumpy gravy. Season with the herbs to taste. Go easy on the rosemary; a little of that goes a long way. The gravy will thicken as it sits, so don't worry if it looks too watery after you've added all the broth. It's actually a good thing to make early in your big meal prep and then you can heat it up again at the end. For oil, i prefer olive but canola will do if that's all you have. The type of flour you use will affect the consistency and flavor. We normally use white wheat, but regular white flour or wheat flour will produce good results too. For vegetable broth, i like using Rapunzel bouillon cubes, but i suppose any vegetable broth would do, even a couple cans of Swanson. When i halve the recipe, i still use the same amount of oil. Ah, the classics It's tradition for min and me to play a tactical role playing game on our winter break. This year we tried both Enchanted Arms and Tales of Vespia, but they were both terrible (for different reasons), so we went back to the basics. Final Fantasy Tactics! The NPCs may be unreasonable...  ...but the gameplay is fantastic. Bath Time, Popo! Our new dryer has a steam setting. All of the friends are going to get baths now. I Made A Sock  And in another 4 months, i might even be done with the other sock. fnord12: Do you feel that this is a good use of your time? :P How would i fix Mr Fantastic's super-human intelligence? I was invited to write a guest post at FanFix. My post is about bringing Reed Richards back down to non-godlike intelligence, but be sure to check out the regular How Would You Fix...? posts as well as there's a lot of interesting ideas. Thirty-Two Down, Fifty to Go  Well, ok, there's only 30 in the picture, but that's cause fnord12 and i each ate one before i got around to taking the photo. Flexing - Ouch Wikipedia tells me Flexing, also called Bone Breaking, is a style of street dance from Brooklyn, New York that is characterized by rhythmic contortionist movement combined with waving, tutting, and gliding. I feel they should also add a squicky warning. I had to look away during some of joint twisting stuff. *shudder* But, you know, you should watch it all the way through. It's pretty kewl. Boy Loves His Zeppelin I saw this a month or so ago and meant to post it, but kept forgetting. So now that it's prolly been seen by everybody already, i'm finally getting around to it. The video (i was unable to embed it, but clicking on the image will take you to the You Tube page) is of a little boy who rejects several songs his dad plays for him, getting more and more upset, until finally his dad asks him what he wants to listen to and the boy chooses Zeppelin.  You can tell from his expressions that he knows the song well and is anticipating certain parts.
Marvel Sales Back issues added A message for those interested in my Marvel Timeline project. I've just completed the addition of a large list of back-issues to the chronology. I started working on these back in October, and it's the amount of content added is the equivalent to me completing about year of comics. And, since these were all issues i deliberately sought out, they all have some degree of significance: first appearances, important events, or unusual storylines. You can see the list of added issues, and the reasons i bought them, here. Now on to 1985! Girls Want Super Heroes, Too! Damn skippy! Why can't girls get things like super hero squinkies, for example? Why's it all gotta be pink stuff? I love when she gets so upset, she starts slapping her hands on a box in frustration. Also, that she's so tiny that the box is at the proportional height at which a table surface would be for an adult. SuperMegaSpeed Reviews New Mutants #35 - I really wasn't looking forward to an "evil nu-mutal band" plotline, and the "fight" this issue went about how you would expect, but throw in Shuma-Gorath-in-a-Box and i'm with you. This book is very good at the inter-personal stuff; the Nate/Dani/Blink conversation about atonement was both funny and good characterization. There definitely seems to be a fight going on between the artists about who is supposed to be drawing the faces on these characters. It seems in this issue the inker said "That #$#@ isn't going to draw faces again? Somehow that's my job? Fine, you want eyes? I'll give you eyes no one will miss."  Sorry for the quick scans, but these are called Speed Reviews for a reason. Avengers Academy #23 - The introduction of X-23 to the team was really good, and the Lightspeed/Striker conversation/revelations was good too. Oh, and Hybrid! I am really disappointed that Sean Chen is leaving the book, especially due to 'revised budgets'. It's one thing to trim the line, quite another to lose top talent. Or maybe they're moving Chen to a higher profile book, which would be well-deserved, but at the same time it ensures that lower tier books like this will never rise to prominence, Wolverine-clone or no Wolverine-clone. Hulk #46 - I was so sure, when they announced that there was a giant portal to Rigellian space in the basement, that i was going to get my Recorder/Machine Man team-up, or at least get to see a few Big Heads, but no such luck. This was good, and i'm surprised and pleased that the book will actually have a lasting effect on Marvel's status quo with the introduction of this new country and leader. I like the analysis that the Red Hulk uses the reputation of the Hulk to get enemies to treat him like an unthinking monster while actually using tactics more fitting to the guy that used to be General Ross, but i don't feel like that's really borne out in the stories. They should do more with that. Thunderbolts #167 - I seem to be in the minority about this book again, but i don't have any complaints about the time-travel romp. I was glad to see this Victorian plotline wrap up after two issues, and i don't mind a meeting with [a] Black Knight next. The writing is great, the characters are awesome, and i'm willing to go wherever Parker wants to take us. New Avengers #19 - If you can get past the fact that it's a re-hash, the Norman Osborn stuff is good. Avengers #20 - Same here. I enjoyed the "get the squid off Madam Hydra's head" scene. The art is a little weird and blocky, but i kind of like it. This panel looks awkward but at the same time it reminds me of Ditko's early Hulk.  I was advised to read the Avengers comics in the wrong order, but looking back on this there's actually decent coordination between the two issues, with Iron Man realizing that Osborn is working with AIM after the Ultimo attack from New Avengers. I know that complimenting two books with the same writer and editor for actually fitting together in a way that makes sense is faint praise, but it's more than we've gotten in the past from some Bendis books (and i'm one of this guy's defenders!). Some words on the ads in these issues:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - The "Santa's a Dick" Edition I'm sure everyone's familiar with this 1964 Rankin/Bass Christmas classic. It's been on TV every year since i can remember. And despite the singing, i always enjoyed watching it each December as a kid. A couple of years ago, i bought Rudolph as part of a DVD collection of other children's Christmas classics and watched it again for the first time in several years. It was during these later viewings that i realized something very obvious - Santa's a dick. In point of fact, just about everyone in Christmas Town is a dick. Well, Mrs. Donner, Rudolph's mom, is not a dick. She's just weak and ineffectual. The kind of person who willfully ignores things so that they can continue in the fantasy that everything's fine. Her reaction to Rudolph's nose? Mrs. Donner: We'll simply have to overlook it. But back to Santa and his uber-douchbaggery. Rudolph's father Donner is horrified and embarrassed that his offspring would exhibit traits that deviate from the norm. What is Santa going to think! He nervously reassures Santa that his son's not a total freak and will surely grow out of it. Instead of chuckling merrily, patting Donner on the back reassuringly, and telling him that superficial physical appearances mean nothing to Santa for he loves all children, Santa reveals appearances mean everything. Santa Claus: Well, let's hope so, if he wants to make the sleigh team someday. Thanks for stopping by to meet our new baby, Santa. Dick. Having done his duty of spreading anxiety and shame to the reindeer, Santa moves on to crushing any feelings of self-worth his elves might have. The elves are all in a tizzy to perform their newest number for Santa and Mrs. Claus. They've been practicing all year! Santa is openly impatient and makes it very obvious he's got better things to do. Santa Claus: Well, let's get this over with. I have to go down and look over the new deer. 
Santa Claus: Well, it needs work. I have to go. And leaves without a backwards glance. Dick. A few months later, Rudolph and Donner prepare for Rudolph's debut at the Reindeer Games. Donner, though fingerless, has managed to make a covering for Rudolph's nose. Rudolph isn't too keen about having to wear it, but his father sets him straight. Donner: There are more important things than comfort: self respect! Santa can't object to you now. How can you possibly have any self-respect if you're born with a light up nose? How? And more importantly, we can't let Santa see that nose! Santa's approval is worth any discomfort. Well, it's all for naught. His false nose falls off. Santa sees it and, Santa Claus: Donner, you should be ashamed of yourself. What a pity. 
That's right, Donner. Shame on you.
Yukon Cornelius. Wahoo! (look at those dogs!)
Rudolph returns to his parents' cave only to find it empty. Santa shows up to tell him they left to look for Rudolph months ago but never came back. Santa: I'm very worried. Wait, they've been missing for months, but Santa's done nothing to actually find them. Just how worried is he? Well, ok, let's give him a little credit. He's actually thinking about someone other than himself for a change, right? Santa: Christmas Eve is only two days off and, without your father, I'll never be able to get my sleigh off the ground. Ok, mebbe not. Dick. In the end, when Santa realizes that he needs Rudolph in order to deliver presents in the fog, he does a complete 180, lavishing Rudolph with all the approval and acceptance he's been yearning for the entire show. Suddenly, it's a "wonderful nose" and not only is Rudolph going to get a spot on Santa's sleigh team, he's going to lead it! And Santa's being totally sincere. He wouldn't lie about something like this just for his own personal gain. So, what have we learned, boys and girls? Santa is a grumpy asshole who hates anything outside of the norm and can't be bothered with the social niceties of being polite to his employees, but if he needs something from you, he isn't above pretending to be your friend. Oh, and Santa's a dick.
This movie was also full of strange, but wonderful things.
  Incidentally, i can't help but wonder if this whole "dentist" thing is a metaphor for "gay". I mean, Hermey's the only male elf with a lush head of blond hair and a cute, pink, rosebud mouth. The rest of the guys are bald with a line where their pie hole should be. And everybody keeps saying "dentist" with an extra dose of drama. Just saying. Onomatopoeia onomatopoeia [on-uh-mat-uh-pee-uh, -mah-tuh-] -n
It's great to say, and it uses almost every vowel just for the ending. That's awesome! That must have been some pool party  Random Lyrics Thursday **Warning - nekkid boobies (it might also be a little soft core pornish. mostly it's just weird)** From mm1
Out on the tar plains, the glides are moving And the sun drips down bedding heavy behind Way down the lane away, living for another day And the sun drips down bedding heavy behind Sing blue silver And watching lovers part I feel you smiling And the sun drips down bedding heavy behind Sing blue silver
Brain-Eating Amoeba Update If you thought winter would kill it, you'd be wrong. Somehow they can slip through the microbial Fort Knox of some U.S. water treatment plants and make it into tap water (at least in Louisiana). Thankfully, nobody would actually dribble water from a pot into their nostrils, so no worries. In other gross news, if you scroll down to the bottom of the article, you'll learn that you and everybody else around you likely has about 0.14grams of poo clinging to your bottoms. Think about that next time you have friends over to sit on your couch. Hard Times Seen outside the Mexican restaurant where my company held our holiday lunch.  Failed Broadway show, marriage on the reboot, no longer the top mascot now that Mickey's around... it's tough being a Spider-Man. Peanut Butter Cup Army  With my Peanut Butter Cup Army, I shall rule the world! Apple Streusel...Tart? What defines a tart? Is it the type of pan you used? It's almost exactly the same ingredients as an apple pie. It's just not in a pie pan. What do i call it? I must know!  No need to stop here. There's plenty more SuperMegaMonkey where that came from.
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Mrs. Claus has this vaguely Eastern European accent and is dressed a bit like a governess, with her hair pulled back in a tight bun, so she's kinda threatening and not the loving matronly figure you might have come to associate with Mrs. Claus. She spends the entire movie pushing food on Santa.
She's obsessed with feeding him. Woman, what is your problem?