Super Mega Monkey Ultra Extreme
Dungeons & Dragons Edition
Recap 95 Supplemental: You're Not Long For This World, Dearie
November 2, 2019
While the Motley Too were in the Underdark making sure Cthulhu did not wake up and end the world, Crulicar was busy moving forward with her plans. When the Motley Too got back to the surface, they found the world had been altered. There was no longer any daylight, the world alternating between dusk and night. Non-human creatures have been transformed into fey and can only be hurt by things like cold steel and salt.
Back in Gelfini, several issues await the group's attention. A refugee ship from Nyngard has landed at their docks. The refugees are fleeing a zombie outbreak in their country. One refugee, a (formerly) high-up Nyngardian scribe named Hugh, asks the Motley Too to go to Nyngard to save more of the people. In a calculated move, Hugh tells the elven ranger Wileu that "her people" are among the refugees currently holed up in a place called "The Residence". When asked if the animals seem affected by this plague, the scribe remarks that "tests" have shown the animal population to be free from the zombie disease. Before they can ask more questions, a commotion erupts among the other refugees as one of them turns out to be infected. The zombie is killed. The Motleys agree that refugees will remain quarantined until it is certain there are no more infected within their group.
There is also a rude letter from Duque Banderas of Rowan Dee blaming the Motley Too for an ogre giving him trouble and demanding they come deal with it. A separate note from Ambassador Trutrie apologizes for the tone of the letter but reiterates the request for aid.
Lastly, there are reports of a ghost sighting at one of the taverns. Kurtis attracts the ghost with a lit candle and allows it to possess him. The ghost is the spirit of Theodore Dobbins, an illusionist from Kurtis' world who was also briefly a member of the Motley Crew before dying by dragon breath. He urges the party to hurry to the cemetery on Boot Hill before releasing Kurtis and disappearing.
When they arrive at the cemetery, the party sees three Nosferatu-like vampires scrabbling at Theodore Dobbins' grave.
The party fights and defeats two of the vampires. The third turns to mist and flees. Kurtis, driven by his hatred of vampires, pursues him but the vampire turns to mist and escapes into the fog. Theodore Dobbins rises up from his grave. He explains that when he died, his spirit was unable to cross into a higher plane because he wasn't of this world. When his own world died (after the recent actions of the Motley Too), the energy released pushed him back into this world, granting him life.
They search through the vampires' belongings. One of them was dressed in expensive furs and jewelry. He was also carrying a book of matches from another tavern in Gelfini. Questioning the barkeep at that tavern, they discover the vampire was a merchant from Armynth who came in regularly, but the barkeep had not seen him in a few weeks.
The Motley Too decides to see what the fuss is about in regards to the ogre in Rowan Dee. While they are dealing with that, Flerm's dwarven follower Thrain will travel to Chumera and see if Phantar and his people are also dealing with the fey problem. Jandove sends her followers to her gnome village to bring back information on forging cold steel weapons.
As they sail to Rowan Dee, a sea serpent accosts them and demands tribute. Theodore Dobbins offers to sacrifice two of the crew. This new T. Dobbs is much darker than he was before his untimely death. The Motley Too decides to fight the sea serpent instead, successfully electrocuting it and lighting it on fire.
That evening, Kurtis hears a female voice singing a song designed to entice the sailors. After analyzing it, he sings a counter song telling the singer to come to him instead. The bard then heads off to bed, Theodore Dobbins following. The rest stay up to stand watch.
Hours later, Wileu hears splashing from behind the boat. Hoping it's just some marine creature swimming along, the elf tries to speak to whatever it is in the clicks and whistles of the dolphin tongue. Instead, she hears feminine voices.
There's a sound on the deck behind them. Jandove turns to look and is blinded. Three naiads, elf-like women made of water, appear on the boat. A fourth is walking on the water behind the boat. She is the one who speaks.
Kurtis stumbles up the steps half asleep, Theodore Dobbins following.
Kurtis: Whuh? What's going on?
A swarm of wasps attacks the lead naiad. Adarra poisons the water making up the other three naiads. Just before they die, the naiads curse everyone on the boat. They will never be able to travel on water untroubled. The next morning, the boat is mired in reeds and the wind has died. They have no choice but to head to shore and get off the water as quickly as possible. Delphine is furious with Kurtis for bringing the naiads to them and lays every misfortune at his feet.
Despite the setbacks, the Motley Too eventually arrive in the city of Kilmore and see Ambassador Trutrie. Apparently, Duque Banderas promised his daughter Swansea to anyone who could identify what animal a special piece of leather came from. An ogre came into the city and correctly identified the animal as a magically-enlarged flea. The Duque tried to renege on the deal so the ogre kidnapped Swansea. All of the soldiers that have been sent to retrieve Swansea have not returned, hence the request for the Motley Too.
The group is shown the way to the ogre's house. It is a structure covered in bones. The party slowly approaches the house and prepare for battle. The ogre emerges from the house and bones leap off of the house. Theodore Dobbins immediately goes on the offensive, causing the bones on the house to form skeletons that attack the ogre.
The fight goes well and the ogre is killed. But then a gas shoots out of the ogre's back. Kurtis is able to jump into his portable hole but the rest are knocked out.
They wake up in a dirty kitchen. They are manacled and all of their equipment is gone. Their clothing has been replaced with burlap sacks. The ogre tells them they must choose one of their group and cook them for his dinner or he will kill all of them. He then leaves, locking them in the kitchen. Adarra turns into a ferret and climbs out of the kitchen window. Delphine uses Dimension Door to join her. Kurtis comes out of hiding and the three of them try to think of a way to free their companions.
Kurtis tries to pick the lock on the front door, but the ogre arrives at the door too quickly. Kurtis is just able to escape. Bursting into the kitchen, the ogre sees that two of their party are missing. He kills Jandove as punishment, taking the gnome's body away as he reminds them he still expects to eat one of them that night.
Not sure how to trick the ogre into eating something else - he might notice if they kill one of his goats - they decide to have Kurtis cause a distraction at the front door so that Delphine can grab the group's equipment from the ogre's room.
This works, but when they kill the ogre again, he emits the knockout gas a second time. Only Delphine, who is out of phase, sees what happens next. The gas forms into Crulicar's face.
Crulicar opens her mouth and swallows the entire party. They wake up in Gelfini. A note has been nailed to the town's gate.
What kind of society allows its daughters to be handed out to strangers as a prize? Had you not interfered, the princess would have been integrated into ogre society, forming the basis of a new inter-species kingdom.