January 30, 2016

What is the Deal with that Elk?

With the Motley Crew disappearing on an undisclosed mission the day before, the Motley Too are left at loose ends. Adarra and Kurtis decide to go mushroom hunting. Entering the breakfast room of the Crying Goat Inn, the rest of the group hears everyone talking about some dwarves seen at the Fish's Fur. These dwarves arrived on a ship, which was strange in itself, but in addition to that, they were very clean and polite, their armor made of crystal. The dwaves wanted to know if an official proclamation had been issued from the castle. Hearing none had been made, the dwarves boarded their ship and sailed off, although one tipsy patron claims to have counted only seven out of eight actually getting on the ship.

Heading to the castle to see if Vashti has any assignments for them, they stop when a messenger boy runs up to tell them Vashti needs them at the city gate.

Aoki: (mumbles) Hope it's not another giant.

At the gate, Vashti informs them that the kobold scouts spotted something odd a couple of hours ago and that something is approaching the city now. Looking in the direction Vashti is pointing, they see a white elk with a body draped over it.

The Harper of the North: (squinting) Isn't that Sir Gyles' elk?

Jandove runs out to investigate and sees it is indeed Sir Gyles laying unconscious on the elk. Once the gnome is able to pull Sir Gyles off its back, the elk runs back into the woods.

Sir Gyles: Where am I? I feel like I've been dreaming for days.

The Harper: What is the deal with that elk?

While Sir Gyles rests in the castle, the Motley Too decide to try infiltrating Florentino's operation in order to gather information on him. While The Harper, Jandove, Delphine, and Wileu chat up Florentino's men, Aoki sneaks around the back of the inn, looking for a way into his bedroom.

The Harper intimates that the group is unhappy working for the Motley Crew and would be open to new employment.

The Harper: We're not so happy with the current management, if you catch my meaning.

Trufino: What are they paying you?

The Harper: They don't. And they make us rent rooms while they've got their big fancy castle.

Trufino offers the group a retainer in exchange for information on the Crew, and he expects them to come when he calls. The Harper agrees to this arrangement with a smile while silently cursing him with gout.

Meanwhile, outside the inn, Aoki sneaks around to the back of the building and approaches a window. A leather-clad figure drops from above, surprising the halfling. The mystery man hands Aoki a note. Pointing at the window, he shakes his head before disappearing back up the side of the building. Glancing at the note, Aoki recognizes the words for "250 gold pieces" and suspects the rest, but decides to bring it to one of the literate members of the group to confirm the message contents.

Back at the Crying Goat, Aoki hands the note to Delphine just as Sir Gyles joins them.

"250 gold pieces for information on Florentino. Fish's Fur."

Aoki: I think this guy's on the up-and-up. It pains me to admit it, but he could have gotten the drop on me at any time. Question is, which one of you has got the necessary brass?

Sir Gyles: How much do you need? I've got 250 gold right here. And there's that chest of platinum I brought back...

Aoki: Eh, you might want to be a little more circumspect about how much money you've got. You keep flashing it around like that and some characters who aren't as honorable as us might decide to relieve you of it.

Entering the tavern alone, Aoki gets a drink at the bar and sits at a table with her back to the leather-clad human lounging at a table in the darkened corner, dropping the sack of gold casually next to her chair. Partway through her pint, a whispered voice to her right tells her to check out a town called "Hemel" in Rowan Dee. Glancing down, Aoki notes that the sack is gone. She finishes her drink before strolling back to the inn to report.

Pulling out the map they found among Crulicar's belongings, Jandove locates Hemel. On the map is a town named Altur Rang that Crulicar had circled. It happens to be not too far from Hemel. The party might be able to gather intel on both Crulicar and Florentino with one trip. The only catch - how to get to Rowan Dee while on retainer for Trufino?

The ever-resourceful Vashti comes to their aid once again. There is a merchant ship leaving that day for Kilmore, the capital of Rowan Dee. Vashti can secure passage for the Motley Too on this ship and provide papers that will allow them to travel within Kilmore. They can tell Trufino that they are being sent on the ship to guard the merchandise. However, the group will have to find their own way to Hemel and Altur Rang. Rowan Dee only suffers the presence of demi-humans for trade purposes.

In preparation for the trip, Sir Gyles purchases a barrel of ale and a barrel of sour pickles, planning on using the barrels to hide Jandove, Delphine, and Aoki if necessary. The three demi-humans are less than thrilled with this suggestion.

Sir Gyles: What's wrong with pickles?

The Wrong Way to Keep a Low Profile

Their first morning on the ship dawns bright and sunny. While the Motley Too is on deck taking in the sea air, a thick fog rolls in without warning, the air turning cold. The only sounds are the creaking of the ship and the lapping of the water. In the distance, the fog clears as a ship sails towards them. As it passes, one of the sailors whispers the name "Cervantes". The mysterious ship then disappears as suddenly as it appeared. The fog dissipates, revealing the blue skies, the city of Kilmore now in sight.

Once ashore, the group makes their way to a tavern. The talk around them is mostly about a plague near Altur Rang. The village has been sealed off by soldiers to prevent the plague from spreading. It's a good bet Crulicar is behind this. The soldiers will make getting into Altur Rang more challenging, though.

Waving the barmaid over, Sir Gyles slides a platinum coin towards her and asks if she might know of anyone willing to take them to Hemel. The barmaid pockets the coin and tells them she might and will be right back. Aoki shakes her head at Sir Gyles.

Sir Gyles: What? Is that a lot of money?

The Harper: Only about a year's salary.

The barmaid returns with directions to a group who will take them. Following these directions brings them to a building entrance in an alley. A big, burly human male opens the door and leads them to a group of six more large men. Things go south from here on in.

Thug #1: We hear you've been very free with money. Tell you what - turn over all possessions and we'll let you live.

Aoki: *sigh* I knew it.

Sir Gyles: Let's show them they can't mess with us, guys! Battle Leader!

The Motley Too "shows" them by fumbling their weapons and missing everything with their initial attacks except the broad side of a barn. Delphine, forgetting the taboo against using magick in Rowan Dee, fires off a barrage of magick missiles. At least they hit their intended target. The thugs are shocked for a moment by the sight of magick before one of them drops his weapon and runs out screaming about wizards.

It's only a matter of time before the city guards arrive to investigate the claim of wizards. They need to end this fight quickly. Fortunately, their second attempts are more successful.

The Harper: (picking up the dagger he had failed to stick into his opponent) Clearly, you are not worthy. *touches*

Thug #1: *screams*

The Harper: We can stop at any time.

Sir Gyles knocks one goon unconscious while killing another. Delphine runs up to aid Jandove, shooting Melf's Acid Arrows at a thug. Screaming in pain, the would-be mugger drops his weapon.

Thug #2: I surrender, I surrender! Just make it stop!

Delphine: Oh...well...not sure there's anything I can do about the acid...I do appreciate the surrender, though...

He dies.

Aoki backstabs the last thug and, seeing the situation is under control, goes to loot the pockets of one of the unconscious goons.

Sir Gyles is forced to abandon his barrels as they rush out of the building. They head out of the alley, but upon reaching the corner, they hear a whistle as someone shouts "Halt!". Looking back, they see two city guards approaching with the goon that ran away.

The Harper throws out his arm and the guards are engulfed in darkness. The group runs in the opposite direction as Sir Gyles throws a bag of coins on the ground. The added confusion of people diving for the coins helps the Motley Too escape.

As they slowly make it back to the docks, they hear a furtive whisper.

Voice: Psst! Hey! Are you guys in trouble, man?

Following the sound of the voice, they see a human on a schooner waving them over. Out of options, the party quickly boards the schooner. The human covers them in potato sacks, cautioning them to keep quiet.

Sir Gyles: Potato sacks, of course! These are much better than barrels!

On the Way to Hemel

The human introduces himself as Pru Bon. He runs this route regularly for the elvish Underground and assumes they are also part of that group. Using Pru Bon's mistake to their advantage, they get him to agree to sail them close to Hemel. He refuses to take them all the way, though, having heard rumors of people entering the town losing their memories.

Pru Bon: I usually get paid in elf leaf. You guys got any elf leaf?

While Pru Bon is telling them about his many journeys on the river, a sudden blur zips across the boat. Pru Bon clutches his throat, blood gushing between his fingers. The Harper heals him before he succumbs to the blood loss.

Another blur flies past Sir Gyles, but there is only a clanking sound and no wound. Aoki unravels her sling and fires an exploding stone towards the shore in the direction the blurs seemed to have come from. Two sharp yelps emanate from the grasses. Delphine reaches over the side of the schooner and shoots flames from her hands at the grass. As they pass, they see two small, charred humanoid corpses.

Harper and Jandove work together to steer the boat while the others try to figure out how to deal with this attack. Sir Gyles and Wileu are surrounded by blurs. The attacks on Sir Gyles armor are deflected, but Wileu suffers several tiny cuts. Poisoned, she falls unconscious before Sir Gyles finishes the quicklings off.

Pru Bon is well enough to take over the sailing. Sir Gyles tends to Wileu. According to Pru Bon, the attack from the quicklings is unprecedented. Usually, they only steal things from his boat. They are generally more a nuisance than a danger. Did someone make the quicklings attack them? Who? And why?

Pru Bon drops them off a day's walk from Hemel, offering to look for them on his return trip. He's disappointed when they pay him in coin.

Pru Bon: Oh, yeah. Um...thanks, man. I mean, I usually get paid in elf leaf, you know? But, yeah...this is good, too...I just...usually I get paid in elf leaf...

We're an Anarcho-Syndacalist Commune

Approaching the town of Hemel, they notice the vegetation in the area is either very dry or dead. Behind the town is a castle in obvious disrepair. When they get closer, they see a small group of townspeople waving to them.

Townsman#1: Hello, oppressors. Here to demonstrate the violence inherent in the system, are we?

He opens his cloak and reveals a rainbow-colored swirling wheel. Wileu and Jandove freeze, stunned by the colorful illusion. A woman points at the group and tries to mesmerize the rest, but they manage to shake it off.

Townsman#3: This one's going to be a fight.

Several more townspeople pop out of hiding in the grasses and more start filing out from behind the buildings.

Townsman #1: Uh...Mayor Hobbs? They don't look like the others.

The Harper: We work for Trufino.

Aoki: Goddammit, Harper. Do none of you have any sense of self-preservation?

Mayor Hobbs: Well, that's that. Kill them.

One of the locals conjures webs to trap Sir Gyles and The Harper, leaving Delphine and Aoki the only ones able to fight. Delphine attacks with a noxious cloud of gas while Aoki tries to convince the people that they only want information on how to get rid of Florentino.

After a brief scuffle, the townspeople realize the Motley Too are only defending and not fighting back. They stop attacking, warily eying the group. The people of Hemel have heard of Gelfini and how it is friendly to magick users. When they hear that Florentino and Trufino have set themselves up in Gelfini, they tell the Motley Too that inside the castle is a ledger that will prove Florentino starved his people while profiting off of their labor. The only problem is the castle is guarded by a golem that seems to be immune to their attacks and their illusions. If the Motley Too can destroy the golem, the townspeople would be happy to give them the ledger.

Jandove asks if they have heard anything about Altur Rang and the plague. According to Mayor Hobbs, the Archbishop of Ilmater is planning on traveling to Altur Rang with a contingent of clerics to flame strike the entire town. If the Motley Too wants to find Crulicar, they will need to deal with this golem situation quickly and then get to Altur Rang before the priests.

Sir Gyles: Follow my lead, everyone!

Leading the way, Sir Gyles has his horse, Doggie, bash the doors of the castle down. Charging in, he swings at the golem standing the in center of the courtyard. The golem swings back, slamming into the paladin with enough force to smash his armor.

The Harper conjures a magick hammer to whittle away at the construct while Jandove fires arrows from her enchanted bow. Wileu lands the killing blow with her sword. Aoki, possessing no magickal weapons, cheers her party on from outside the gates.

With time being of the essence, the group quickly searches the castle. Florentino was quite thorough in terms of clearing out all of the valuables. There is very little of worth left inside, although Aoki does manage to snag a candlestick. They find the ledger and a geneology book easily and leave. Grateful for the assistance, the townspeople offer to have some of their illusionists accompany the group to Altur Rang.

Charming Their Way Through the Blockade

A few miles outside of Altur Rang, they encounter a very large contingent of soldiers guarding the road and enforcing the quarantine around Altur Rang. The illusionists tell the group to get the soldiers' attention and they will take care of the rest.

Aoki: Yoo hoo! Demi-humans here!

Delphine: Drop your weapons!

Wileu: (attempts seductive pose)

This certainly does garner the soldiers' attention. With all of them looking their way, the illusionist once again opens his cloak and mesmerizes the regiment with his swirling rainbow. Only one cleric seems unaffected and begins to turn to signal a distant scout for help. Seeing this, Sir Gyles rides forth and tackles the cleric.

Sir Gyles knocks the cleric out and they all pause for a moment. When nothing happens, they all breathe a sigh of relief that none of the scouts in the woods were alerted. Sir Gyles then notices the cleric is wearing a rather decent suit of armor and proceeds to liberate it from the unconscious man.

The illusionists offer to stay behind and cloud the soldiers' memories so that none of them will remember what happened.

Illusionist: If you are ever near Hemel, know you will be welcomed in our town.

Hardcore

After saying farewell, the Motley Too proceeds to Altur Rang. They arrive at the outskirts of the town an hour later. Up ahead, two women, each pulling along a child, are screaming and running towards them. Chasing them are zombies. The monsters reach the women and children before Sir Gyles can save them. All four are knocked down and bitten.

The Harper steps forward and tries to turn the zombies, but nothing happens. He experiences the same feeling of nothingness as the time in Nilbog when they first fought Crulicar. The witch is definitely here.

The zombies start closing in on Sir Gyles as he is well ahead of the rest of the group. The two women and children stand up, now undead themselves. Jandove fires off an arrow, hitting one of the zombies in the shoulder. It continues shambling forward, undeterred.

Aoki: They're zombies! Aim for the brain!

Delphine, eager to get into the fight, runs forward flames shooting from her hands, setting the zombies on fire. Sadly, Delphine learns too late that although fire damages zombies, the zombies don't know that and will continue to attack until they are entirely burned up.

Aoki: You're a nice person, but I'm not running into a horde of flaming zombies for you!

A zombie grabs Delphine's arm and bites her. The wound festers and bubbles.

Delphine: *shrugs* Go big or go home.

Reaching through the flames to grab a zombie's head, she sends electricity through her fingers, exploding the creature's brains.

Aoki: Hey, you want me to cut that arm off for you?

Sir Gyles: I can cure diseases! Don't do anything hasty!

Sir Gyles and Wileu are able to take care of the remaining zombies. The paladin heals Delphine's arm, but warns he is only able to do so once per week so everyone should be careful not to get bitten.

Altur Rang

Upon reaching the village's west entrance, they see that it is completely overrun with zombies. Looking out of place from the rest of the buildings is a hastily constructed hut on the far east side, smoke rising from its chimney. There are too many zombies to sneak past, so Aoki slips into the village and sets one of the buildings on fire. The fire attracts the zombies and clears a path for the group to reach the hut.

Once they're inside, they realize the hut has been abandoned, and in a hurry. There is broken glass and torn paper littering the floor along with some valuable items and bags of gold. A well has been dug in the center of the hut. A spinning device is piped into the well. This might be how Crulicar poisoned Altur Rang's water source. Scrawled on the wall is a note to the Motley Crew.

How did she know they were coming?

Grabbing the valuables and what gold they can carry, the group exits the hut. Outside, Jandove and Wileu see a set of footprints that look too steady to belong to a zombie. Before they can follow them, they hear a horrible scream. A zombie wyvern flies out of the woods straight towards them. Attracted by the noise and spectacle, the zombies in the town start coming towards the hut.

Quickly diving over the fence into the brambles, the Motley Too tries to lose the wyvern. The make a mad dash towards the quarantine border. When the soldiers are in sight, Sir Gyles starts shouting towards them.

Sir Gyles: We're an advanced scout from Ilmater! We aren't infected. Don't shoot!

Thanks to the armor Gyles is wearing, the ruse works and the soldiers allow them to approach, shooting at the wyvern. Sir Gyles and the rest stop at the line of soldiers and turn to help kill the wyvern. Aoki has other plans.

Aoki: (grabbing Delphine) Don't you go casting any spells. Remember where we are. We're going to use the confusion of the battle and disappear into the woods before these soldiers realize some of us are only three feet tall.

Delphine starts to argue.

Aoki: Or I can just leave you here.

Pouting, Delphine follows Aoki into the woods where they hide under a tree.

Once Jandove kills the wyvern, the soldiers finally get a good look at the party.

Soldier: (whispers to Sir Gyles) Uh...Father? What type of people have you brought with you?

"Father" Gyles: Sometimes in these situations, we must hire mercenaries, but it is a closely guarded secret, so do not breathe a word of it to anyone.

Soldier: *nods*

The group extracts themselves from the soldiers without too much fuss and head towards the river in hopes of meeting up with Pru Bon. Aoki and Delphine rejoin the group once the soldiers stop paying attention.

They do manage to find Pru Bon and he sails them back to Kilmore. To Pru Bon's disappointment, they pay him once again in gold.

Pru Bon: Yeah... I usually get paid in elf leaf...

Once in the capital, the Motley Too hides near the docks while Aoki secures them passage to Gelfini on a rum smuggler.

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